Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash
by Aamir Vesamia
The following story contains mention of suicide. Please engage in self-care or reach out to your loved ones or a mental health professional if you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts or tendencies.
This is the sixth of a multi-part series. Please click here for the fifth. Names have been changed to protect identities.
The 7 Key Principles of Shape Well-being are listed here:
Empathy
Compassion
Acceptance
Non-Judgement
Open & Honest
Genuine & Real
Empowerment
With these last two sessions, there was a real focus on ‘bringing it all together.’ All the skills I’d learned over the past couple of months were being brought together for the purpose of live client practice.
The sessions were going to be longer this time — 30 minutes for part one. We’d be counselling for a full 30 minutes and this seemed daunting from the offset.
We hadn’t spoken much about the ethical framework behind working as a Reflective Practitioner and this was a crucial part of this session. Using SHAPE as an anagram we have:
Safety — To do no harm.
Honesty — Keeping thoughts and actions consistent with aiding the client.
Autonomy — Thinking about who is controlling the session.
Priority — The client comes first.
Ethical — The code of practice.
Implementing these into the sessions, and remaining professional whilst at the same time keeping in mind the 7 Key Principles is a challenge I’m nervous about. But I’m sure I can handle it.
Darren’s Struggle with Fitness
Photo by Ashley Knedler on Unsplash
This was the first time I was practicing for 30 minutes. I was unsure I could practice fluidly for that amount of time but I was ready for the challenge. I zoned in on the conversation and Darren had my full attention.
Darren was struggling with his recent perceived lack of fitness. He was a hiking enthusiast. Close to 60, he was still tackling trails healthy people half his age would find a challenge.
Being Winter, Darren was dealing with sickness and felt both the weather and a recent injury were impacting his stamina out in the hills.
By leading with empathy, I was able to tap into some of what Darren was feeling. When I lose strength after some time off when lifting, I can see how it feels like taking steps back.
I listened to Darren and began to focus on any emotions that arose. I sensed some frustration about the situation and asked about that feeling.
With the Principle set up, usually just listening and asking after any feelings is enough to get the client talking. This was a key takeaway from the weeks prior for me. Darren wanted to talk, Darren just needed an ear to listen to him.
The autonomy framework provides a good analogy for this. Whilst the client controls the brakes and accelerator of the car, the practitioner may control the steering or the direction, although it’ll usually be where the client wants the conversation to go, they may just not know it until they vocalise their feelings.
Darren was also comparing himself to famous mountaineers he saw on television. Why couldn’t he be as fit as they were?
It was clear to me Darren was being hard on himself at this point so I offered a more apt comparison — did Darren know anybody closer to his age who was as healthy as he was?
He didn’t.
I then disclosed a little about myself and people my own age — whilst I’m relatively healthy and I exercise frequently, I still don’t think I have the stamina Darren does. And neither do most people my own age.
He told me a touching story about a woman in her 80s who he often sees when hiking. Whilst she no longer had the physical endurance she once did, it was all certainly there mentally. Darren considered her a role model.
At this point, I felt Darren had empowered himself and had set himself healthier and more realistic goals for his future in the moors.
Considering the session was half an hour, it certainly didn’t feel that way. I felt that we barely scratched the surface in terms of all the avenues there were to explore.
It was a great introduction to what a real session might end up like, and I look forward to the 45-minute one next week.
Going Forward
The session today was 30 minutes long and covered a single topic. Knowing the client in this case, there wasn’t a real need to begin to establish rapport, and we could get into the meat of the subject matter quickly.
Client practice will be six 45-minute sessions. A long call from the 30-minute one I had here.
I know when it comes to actual client practice, it’ll be different. I’ll need to establish rapport, build up trust, and spend more time getting to know them before I begin to get into the root cause of the issues.
Listening and reflecting the feelings will be key in the early stages. The first couple of sessions may focus on this.
There’ll also be a ‘middle’ which might be the next two sessions. Deepening relationships, making connections and exploring the feelings behind issues might be the focus here.
With the ending, this could be where there’ll be some empowerment and acknowledgement and acceptance of problems. There may even be some letting go, some work towards the future and what might come next.
Of course, this is all speculation. Having not done a real session yet, I can’t quite say what might happen. Speaking to my old therapist Robert he’s told me how things don’t always go
